Tardiness, Toothbrushes, and Tiny Tornadoes
by BiderSweet
Summary: This is a KyoSaya one-shot. The title won't make any sense until you read it so I suggest that you read it...Like right now! It's cute and funny so yeah.


**Tardiness, Toothbrushes, and Tiny Tornadoes**

"Kyoko! Kyoko, wake up!"

"5 more minutes...", mumbled Kyoko

"Damn it Kyoko, wake up!" Sayaka bashed Kyoko in the head with her blue polka-dotted pillow that was more firm than fluffy.

"Ah geez, I'm up I'm up! What's the problem?"

"Homura rang my phone off the hook to tell me that there's a witch nearby."

"A witch huh? At this hour?" It was 3:42 AM.

"Those things have no consideration towards people who just want to sleep."

"We need to get dressed.", said Sayaka. Both her and Kyoko were wearing their birthday suits after an "eventful" night.

"Why? We're gonna be changing into our magical girl outfits anyway so what's the point?"

"I never thought of it that way...Good job, you finally said something useful for once."

"Was that a compliment or an insult?"

"It's whatever you want it to be Kyoko."

"Ugh, I'm too tired to put up with you right now.", said a groggy Kyoko as she touched her soul gem that was sitting on the nightstand. It vanished and she was instantly clothed in her magenta sleeveless dress that had a diamond cut out at the collarbone which exposed an ovalular ruby, her soul gem. Her boots matched her dress and right above them were black tights that ran up to her knees. Black cuffs hugged her wrists. She equipped her oversized spear and was ready for action.

Sayaka did the same. Her outfit consisted of a blue and white tube-top, blue sleeve-like things that weren't attached to her shirt, white gloves, and a blue skirt. She had a white cape around her neck which miraculously never seemed to get in the way during battles. As for her soul gem, it was a sapphire in the shape of the letter "c" with a circle in the middle that was visible from the gap at the bottom her shirt. Her sword was in her grasp. She looked like a prince who was about to mount a white horse and ride out into the sunset with her damsel.

"You all set?, asked Sayaka.

"I guess so.", answered Kyoko who was not thrilled whatsoever.

"Then let's go."

They leaped out of Sayaka's bedroom window and into the night, hopping from rooftop to rooftop, parkour style. Sayaka was in front, leading the way.

"Where are we even going?", questioned Kyoko.

"To this old elementary school, a place you wouldn't be familiar with."

"Hey, don't assume things! When you assume it makes an ass out of you and me. (It's a pun... ass-u-me) For your information, I actually went to grade school. In fact, I made it all the way up to 3rd grade. I would've went to 4th grade but one day this little boy with grubby hands stole my pudding. I beat that f***** up and got suspended. It was totally worth it."

"Kyoko, what did I tell you about swearing?"

"Don't be a sour-puss Sayaka. Swear words are the spice of life."

"I thought variety was the spice of life..."

"Whatever."

"We're here.", informed Sayaka.

"Finally! Let's kill this thing so we can go back to bed. Huh, I don't see anything out of the ordinary. Are you sure this is it Sayaka?"

"I'm positive. Look, there's Homura and Mami."

Everyone was gathered on top of the school's roof except for Madoka who was still asleep in her bed. Homura made sure to leave a note saying that she'd be right back.

"You two are late.", said Homura in a monotone voice.

"We already took care of the witch.", explained Mami.

"Cool, that means we can go home!", cheered Kyoko who attempted to run away.

"Not so fast." Homura stopped Kyoko in her tracks by grabbing her arm. "Since the witch was weak I won't make a big deal out of this but if you or Miki Sayaka are ever late again you'll surely regret it."

"Yeah yeah, I got it Transfer Student, now let go of me."

"How did you know I was a transfer student?", asked Homura as she released Kyoko from her grip.

"Sayaka told me. She also said that she saw you making out with Madoka in an empty-"

Sayaka tackled Kyoko to the ground and covered her mouth with her hand. "Shut up you idiot!"

"Eh heh heh...um, we're gonna go now.", said Sayaka awkwardly while scratching the back of her head before jumping off of the building with Kyoko under her arm. Mami waved goodbye.

If you took notice of the sky you'd see that the morning sun was peaking out from behind the horizon.

"Are you insane!? You don't tell people things like that!", scolded Sayaka.

"Relax, it's not a big deal.", said Kyoko nonchalantly.

"Yeah it is a big deal! We're talking about Homura Akemi here. This girl is notorious for showing no mercy to anyone who mentions anything remotely controversial about Madoka."

"I'm not afraid of her."

"You should be!"

On their way back they passed by Kyoko's favorite cafe.

"Oh oh oh, Sayaka! Let's stop there! That place serves the best omelets."

"Why do you think I'd treat you to breakfast right after you did something like that?"

"Because you looove me.", said Kyoko cutely.

"You're right, I do love you but that doesn't mean I'm not mad at you. Besides, I don't have any money on me."

"Don't worry about that. When I go there I get to eat for free."

"How?"

"The garbage can is always full of perfectly good food that people throw away for some reason."

"That's gross Kyoko."

"It's free food isn't it? Can't complain about that."

"Even so, it's not worth it. What if the person who ate off of it was sick or had an STD or something?"

"That's a risk you have to take."

"I don't have to take any risks...and don't kiss me ever again, at least not until after you brush your teeth."

"I've brushed my teeth since the last time I went treasure hunting Sayaka."

"Well brush them again anyway. Your breath stinks."

"You can blame yourself for that because the last thing I ate was your-"

"That's enough! Don't say anything else!"

When they arrived at home Sayaka went in the shower and Kyoko plopped back on the bed.

15-20 minutes later Sayaka returned to her room with a blue towel wrapped around her body.

"Kyoko, want to go out for breakfast?"

Kyoko's ears perked up like a fox's when she heard the word "breakfast". She scurried over to where her girlfriend was standing and pressed her forehead against Sayaka's

"Are you feeling okay? Do you have a fever?"

The "feverish" girl pushed Kyoko away from her and said, "I'm perfectly fine. I'm just hungry and I felt like going somewhere to eat. Eating by myself is lonely so I figured I'd bring you with, that is, if you apologize first..."

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry! Please take me with you!", begged Kyoko on her knees.

"Do you promise not to order the whole menu?"

"I promise!"

"Fine, go wash up while I get dressed. I'll pick out your clothes too since you'd probably go there in your pajamas."

"Yay! I love you so much!" Kyoko crossed her arms around Sayaka's neck and gave her a big kiss. The recipient started to melt into it but then she realized that Kyoko hadn't brushed her teeth since the previous night and quickly backed off.

"What are you doing all of a sudden? I thought you liked it when I kiss you."

"I do but you haven't practiced your oral hygiene since yesterday and when I remembered that I got really turned off."

"You're so difficult.", said Kyoko as she stripped Sayaka's towel off.

"Wah! D-don't do that!", yelled Sayaka as she recovered her towel from the floor and slipped it back on. Kyoko was laughing hysterically the whole time.

"It's not funny!"

"I think it's funny, ahahaha!"

"Grr..."

"Alright, I'm done laughing. I'll go get ready."

After some minor primping and Kyoko whining about the outfit that Sayaka picked out for her, the girls were on their way to the restaurant.

As they were walking, Kyoko brought up her clothes again. "Do I seriously have to wear this? It's hideous." She pointed at her frilly, pale pink dress which belonged to Sayaka. It was too small for its owner to wear but it fit Kyoko nicely. The chest area was a tad loose though.

"Come on Kyoko, you look great. After all, you're like an accessory and I'd never carry around an ugly accessory.", said Sayaka who was wearing a yellow button down shirt and denim jeans.

"I'm an accessory, huh... At least I look better than that man-purse you got hanging from your shoulder.", said Kyoko, quietly enough so that Sayaka couldn't hear her.

Eventually they arrived at the cafe. It was a dainty little coffee shop. They walked inside the front door which had a bell near the top of it that rang whenever the door was opened. A waitress guided them to a booth beside the window and handed them each a menu.

"What would you like to drink?" The waitress asked the age old question that waiters/waitresses always ask right after you sit down, before you even have time to look at the menu to see what they have.

"Um, I'd like some coffee please, house blend."

"Certainly, and for you miss?" The waitress looked at Kyoko.

"I'd like a cherry slushie with extra syrup on top." Sayaka couldn't believe that Kyoko just tried to order something like that from a coffee shop.

"Okay, that's one cup of coffee and a cherry slushie with extra syrup, correct?"

"Yes ma'am.", confirmed Kyoko. Sayaka was too busy scouring the menu to find where "slushie" was to answer. Sure enough, it was listed right underneath "root-beer float".

"Alright ladies, I'll be right back with your drinks. In the meantime, you can browse through the menu and I'll take your order when I return.", said the waitress before walking away.

The magical girls skimmed the menu to see what looked appetizing. Once Sayaka made her decision she said to Kyoko, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. If she comes back and I'm not here, tell her that I want chocolate-chip pancakes."

"Rodger!"

Sayaka made her way to the bathroom and literally 10 seconds after she went in there the waitress came up to the table, placing their drinks on top of it.

"Do you know what you want to eat young lady? Wait, where is the other girl?"

"Oh, she's just in the bathroom. She wanted chocolate-chip pancakes."

Kyoko considered ordering Sayaka something grotesque but decided against it because Sayaka was already angry with her. This fact didn't stop her from ordering a lot of entrees for herself though.

"I'm sorry but we're out of chocolate-chip pancakes. Will blueberry a pancakes work?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Awesome, and what would you like miss?"

"Let's see here...I want an omelette with lots of cheese inside, bacon, potatoes, sausage, and toast, oh, and I'd also like..."

Kyoko went on and on naming off items from the menu. She listed just about everything that was there besides pancakes. She figured she'd take some off of Sayaka's plate.

The waitress was appalled. She didn't know what to think of this bottomless pit of a girl but her job required her to be respectful to all of the customers so she simply said, "Will that be all?"

"Yup.", said Kyoko.

"So you wanted...", the waitress starts repeating what Kyoko said just before Sayaka returned from her escapade in the restroom.

Once the waitress drifted away Sayaka took a seat at her booth. Kyoko had mischievous smirk on her face.

"Oh no, this can't be good...", thought Sayaka after noticing Kyoko's facial expression.

"What did you do?", asked Sayaka sternly.

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything except order our food."

"Then why are you smiling like that?"

"Would you rather have me frowning?"

"No but...", Sayaka sighed. "Reasoning with you is pointless. Did the waitress come yet?"

"She did."

"You didn't get everything on the menu did you?"

"No way." Kyoko got almost everything but she wouldn't dare tell Sayaka that.

"Did you get my chocolate-chip pancakes?"

"Sure did." She didn't, well, she tried to.

"Good girl. Say, did you brush your teeth before we came here?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Because you're lazy. Here, let me smell your breath."

Kyoko burped in Sayaka's face.

"Not like that! Just blow a little bit of air in front on my nose."

Kyoko took it a little too far and made a tiny tornado but Sayaka was still able to smell something.

"Why did you lie to me? You didn't brush at all! You didn't even bother to use mouthwash!"

"You rushed me Sayaka. I didn't have time. My breath smells like you so it's not my fault."

"That's a myth. My 'you-know-what' is clean so don't give me that excuse!"

"Maybe now it is since you took a shower."

By now, everyone in the restaurant was staring at the idiot couple and was listening to every word of their conversation. Sayaka became aware of this and whispered, "Psst, Kyoko, stop talking! The whole place can hear us!"

"I don't care! If they want to eavesdrop I'll charge them with a service fee."

"You can't do that!"

"I can do whatever I want to Sayaka!"

During their noisy argument the waitress approached their table, wheeling a cart full of various tasty things.

"Uh, excuse me for interrupting but your meals are ready."

Sayaka covered Kyoko's mouth with her hand yet again and said, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! This girl just kept yapping away." She did a double take at the sight of all the food that was on the cart. "Huh, is all of this stuff for us!?"

"Indeed it is.", said the smiley waitress.

"Oh...um, okay then."

The waitress began sliding each dish onto the table and as each one passed in front of her face, Sayaka's eyebrows got more and more wrinkly. They twitched whenever a particularly expensive looking thing appeared.

When the last plate was on the table the waitress said, "Enjoy your meal!"

"Thanks we will!" With that said, Kyoko began stuffing her face with a whole bunch of different edibles. Sayaka's stomach was too upset to digest anything but she still attempted to eat her blueberry pancakes that she thought were chocolate-chip pancakes. After pouring some maple syrup them and cutting them up she took the first bite. Her tastebuds were expecting chocolate, not fruit.

"These are not chocolate-chip pancakes."

"They aren't!? That's no good. I'll write a nasty review on Yelp for this place for messing up your order.", said Kyoko like she had no clue that the cafe didn't have what Sayaka wanted.

"They're blueberry pancakes. I'm allergic to blueberries..." Right after saying that Sayaka's face swelled up severely.

"S-sayaka, you look scary..."

Sayaka was able to make out the words, "purse" and "EpiPen".

Even someone as dumb as Kyoko understood what that meant so she dug through Sayaka's purse and retrieved the EpiPen her girlfriend desperately needed. She removed the cap and stabbed Sayaka in the arm with it and her swelling went down like a deflated balloon. It took a few moments but soon enough she recovered from the allergic reaction and was able to talk again. She said, "Why didn't you tell me these were blueberry pancakes!? There was a reason I was a 'raspberry' instead of a 'blueberry' during the cake song!"

"O-oops..."

"Oops? Oops!? That's all you have to say!?"

"Hello girls!" It was the waitress. "It seems that you haven't finished eating. Would you like some boxes so you can bring the rest home."

"Yes please.", said Kyoko courteously.

"Okay, I'll go get some. Here's the bill." She set a booklet type thing down next to one of Kyoko's many plates.

"Thanks!", thanked Kyoko.

While the waitress went get them some boxes Sayaka looked at the tab. The paper said, $178.56.

"Never again..."

* * *

**[Afterward]**

Yo, I'm BiderSweet! You may or may not know me from my LoveLive! fics. Whether you know who I am or not, I'd like to say that this is my first Madoka Magica fanfic. I hope you got some kind of amusement out of it. Just so you know, I love this anime just as much as I do LoveLive! so it was inevitable that I would write a story that was set in its universe. KyoSaya is my favorite ship from this show so of course I'd put the two of them in crazy situations for my and your enjoyment. Their relationship dynamic is kinda simple so found it pretty effortless to write about them. HomuMado is a different case. HomuMado is great too but I just don't know what kind of story I could make with them in it. Maybe someday I'll get around to putting them in embarrassing scenarios. I had a couple of things planned with them in it for this Madoka Magica/Pokemon crossover story I planned on doing but I scrapped the whole thing since I had no idea where I was going with it in terms of plot progression. Sorry 'bout that.


End file.
